Self-Reliant – Transform Your Journey!

Very often we hear people saying “I am not dependent on anybody”. Is it actually possible for a person to be completely independent? 

Self-Reliant : What it means for you?

We have learnt in our school that “man is a social being”.  We are dependent on other fellow beings to fulfil our various daily needs.  We depend on farmers for our food grains.  We are dependent on our maid to keep our house clean.  We are dependent on the company for which we work for our salary.  We are dependent on family members for emotional support and dependent on pets for company and the list goes on. In this article I discuss about importance of being self-reliant.

During olden days when currency was not invented, there existed a system called barter system.  The main occupation of people during those days was farming. Person growing rice and wheat would exchange it with a person growing vegetables and fruits. Even then people were dependent on each other.

Not just an individual even the countries are dependent on one another for fulfilling their citizen’s needs. Self-reliant Is word of subjectivity. Certain crops are grown only in tropical climate and certain crops in temperate climate.  Countries having extremely cold climate import food grains from other countries.  

We are aware that a country imports the materials which it is unable to produce from other countries and export those items which are available abundantly in its own country. When a country cannot be self-reliant, how can an individual be completely independent? 

What does being independent mean? Is it a self-reliant synonym?

Then what does we mean when we say “I am independent”.  Is it indication of self-reliant? Being independent means not seeking help from others (friends and family members) for simple tasks such as fetching a glass of water, pressing or ironing our dress, cleaning our table, prepare a snack when hungry etc.,

Just like a matter is made up of tiny particles called atoms, happiness of a person is dependent on simple and small things.  A person can find happiness in doing small activities like preparing a cup of morning tea for himself, cleaning his office table himself, polishing his shoes, cleaning his plate after having food etc. These small activities give him great joy and a feeling that to some extent he is independent or self reliant.

Disputes in family arise when there is inequal distribution, it can be either distribution of responsibility or wealth. Let us take an example of a family of four members.  If all the family members depend on a single person for all their needs, either there will be dispute among family members or the person taking all the responsibilities may live an unsatisfied life or try to escape from the responsibilities. In either case the suffering will be for the entire family. 

When the family members share their responsibilities with each other, they can live a happy life. Festival celebrations in a family are not the responsibility of a single family member.  It is the combined responsibility of all the family members.  When all the family members share the responsibility equally then it is a celebration in true sense.   

When we are born, we are unaware of what is happening around us and our parents take care of us.  We are not aware of the word self-reliant during our child hood. As we grow, we learn many things by observing our surroundings and some things are taught to us by our parents.  Out of many things we learn the most important thing is to learn to manage things on our own without other’s help. 

Parents should ensure that their children do all their tasks independently from very young age, ( making them self-reliant) like doing their homework on their own, wearing their school uniform and shoes, arranging their books in their school bag, having food independently etc. As they grow old, they will develop the habit of doing things independently on their own and they learn to take responsibilities. The tasks which we perform daily will develop into a habit and we no longer feel our daily routine tasks as burden.   

Teaching children is not an easy task. Parents need to have lots and lots of patience while dealing with children. Every child is different; some learn easily and quickly and some take time to grasp things and some may be adamant and lazy.

In the beginning children may make few mistakes while learning, but gradually they will learn from their own mistakes. A child will try to learn ( to be self-reliant), to live independently only when it realises that, it will not receive any assistance from its parents.  It is the duty of the parents to provide an opportunity for the child to learn.  If parents, out of love and affection towards their children, do all their children’s tasks, the child will never make an attempt to learn things.    

Similarly, when parents grow old and are incapable of doing their daily tasks, they can hire some one for help and generate employment for an individual.  They can utilise their savings for their old age ( a path to be self-reliant).   

Whom to approach for help?

We should think twice before seeking help from others.  We should approach others for help only when all other avenues are shut and we are left with no options.  When seeking help becomes inevitable and the help required is financial help, it is better to approach a bank or financial institutions rather than an individual.  The relationship between a bank and a customer is a professional relationship unlike between two individuals.  

In present situation, an individual will offer help to other individual only with the intention of getting something in return.  For example, if you borrow some money from your friend, after some days, he may expect some other kind of help from you or take you for granted and may try to dominate you.  He may feel that seeking help from you is his birth right. He may even take undue advantage of your friendship.  In case you are unable to help him in return, he may even insult you and put an end to your relationship.   

Where ever possible we should try to take help from professionals by paying their charges or fees rather than approaching individuals. This can be assumed as the path to be self-reliant.

In today’s world of technology every thing is delivered to our door step with online order and online payment. This online trading has not only generated employment to unemployed youth but has also helped senior citizens and working women and has drastically reduced their efforts and stress of shopping.

A great thing to be appreciated is that many organisations are training and helping physically challenged persons to lead an independent and dignified life. 

Is seeking help from others wrong?

No, not at all, seeking help from others is not wrong.  We should take certain precautions while taking help from others like, 

• Approaching the right person, whom we are familiar with
• Never approach a person for help frequently and unnecessarily
• If you take help from others under unavoidable circumstance, try to compensate them with what every kind of help you can offer.
• If you borrow money from friends, return it to them promptly and thank them appropriately.
• Approach a friend for help when it is absolutely necessary and only in case of emergency.
• When we take something from others we should ensure we also give back something to them.

Conclusion on self-reliant

Helping each other is essential in life and similarly being independent is also important.  We need to strike a balance between being self reliant and at the same time helping others and seeking help from others in life.  Life is nothing but balancing things.  We need to be both strictly disciplined as well as lenient with our kids. We should be friendly with our parents at the same time should be respectful towards them. We should offer help and take help from friends but it should not cross the limits.

Other person should not develop a feeling that we are taking undue advantage of his helping nature. At times we should learn to accept “No” as an answer for our request and also learn to politely reject help to others if it’s not feasible to help. Every relation is perfect until no one is trying to dominate the other or take advantage of other’s innocence. Life is beautiful only when our thinking is beautiful.

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